How to find a common language with any work colleague?

How to find common ground with any colleague

Why you need to find a common language with colleagues

There are different opinions about what kind of atmosphere should prevail in the office. Someone thinks that work is work, and not a reason for new acquaintances, and for someone not finding a common language with colleagues is equal to tragedy. And the situation of friendship in the office seems more correct, since most of your life is spent at work and it would be sad to spend it in the company of people who do not care about each other (or specifically about someone).

Therefore, even if the corporate spirit in your office is at a low level, it is never too late to activate it on your own and start, if not be friends, then at least be friends with colleagues.

7 tips for finding common ground with colleagues

Reasons for poor communication

If you are no longer a newcomer to the team, and you still have not been able to establish connections and start not only to say hello, but also, for example, go to lunch together, or even go home together, the reason may be not only in them, but and in you. It would not be sad to admit it, but everything can be.

You are making too much noise. Much more than your job responsibilities require. It can be talking on the phone, and not only on business issues, or maybe a simple rustling of packages of snacks, which for 5 days a week for 8 hours can drive you crazy, as well as speakerphone, sound on the computer and much, much more. ...

And this does not mean anything bad at all. Perhaps you have a peculiar culinary preference, such as Jewish or authentic Chinese food, or perhaps a great love for trivial garlic or onions. All this can turn people off and it is best to stick to the golden mean and try not to eat specific food at work. But there is always an option that when using perfume, you adhere to the principle of not the smell, but the amount poured on yourself.

Lots of talk

There are two extremes that do not allow you to find a common language with colleagues - it is not to communicate with them at all, moving around the office like an assassin, or talking too much. You can, as in the first paragraph, talk a lot on the phone or, on the contrary, talk with your closest colleagues, who may not really want to, trying to retell to them all the events that happened during your separation.

Violation of personal space

Or are you invading your colleagues' personal space? After all, not everyone likes it when they are touched, hugged, or even come too close to resolve any issue. If you are not sure that the person is ready to get close to you so quickly, then it is best to keep some distance until your relationship moves to the next level.

The habit of taking pens and other personal belongings from the tables of their colleagues can also be attributed to the same point.

Bad habits

Again, this is not at all what one would think about. Rather, this includes some personal characteristics that you can only put up with and sigh sadly about missed opportunities for upbringing, for example, blowing your nose at the workplace, cutting nails and the like.

Conflictness

Well, and the most commonplace option, why it is not possible to establish relations with colleagues, will be an ordinary love of conflicts. You may just be too emotional, take everything as close to your heart and rebuild your point of view to the first blood.

Tips on how to find common ground with colleagues

If you have not found any reasons in yourself, then maybe your colleagues, so to speak, do not yet know how cool you are and how pleasant it is to communicate with you. Do not hesitate to inquire about who dines where and go with them, attend corporate events and try to use every opportunity to informally communicate with colleagues. After all, there are people around you with whom you will have to communicate a lot and solve various issues.

Know how to listen

The main rule when communicating with anyone is to listen carefully and remember what the interlocutor is saying. Remember that most people most of all like to talk about themselves, and only then about others. Although, of course, one cannot throw away the double egoists, who after a while will still continue to talk only about their own person. Do not be friends with such, look for those who will be interested in you.

In addition, the larger the company, the more likely it is to find someone with similar interests and make a true friend.

Be polite and calm

Do not start communicating in a familiar way with colleagues, even if, using the previous advice, you started listening and suddenly found out that someone is not being called by name, but using his nickname. We recommend that you remain neutral and address by name, or even in full, until you are sure that you have moved to a new level of communication with a specific person.

And most importantly, don't be nervous. If your company has a developed corporate spirit, then the opposing side understands perfectly well that without friendly communication you will not be a team.

Do not give up corporate events

This is not a sin to repeat. If you are going to make friends or even friends among colleagues, then never refuse to continue the day in their company in an informal setting. Otherwise, start initiating them - this is a fairly simple way to have a good time and get to know everyone better. For the first time, you can invite everyone who gets in your way with you, and for subsequent events, choose those with whom it was most interesting last time.

Try not to get involved in conflict situations

In any conflict, try to make sure that no one leaves offended. It means that try to end the grand scandal in the bud and do it as politely as possible. Refer to an important meeting with a client or boss, a large amount of work, or a physiological need. You can also try to make it a joke.

And the best thing is not to allow such situations at all.

Be honest and open with a colleague

Lying is generally not the best way to start a relationship with anyone, let alone with colleagues. So strictly follow the principle that lying is not good, it is better just not to raise those topics about which you do not plan to spread at work, or immediately firmly state your position, they say, you are good guys, but, for example, personal life is not the topic that I want to discuss.

Show yourself as a disciplined person

Try not to be late for work and always fulfill all the obligations that you take upon yourself on time. They promised to help a colleague until the evening - do so.

Try to find people with similar interests

It's great if you are immediately lucky and in your own department you meet people with whom you will be on the same wavelength. But if this did not happen, then do not be discouraged, companies rarely consist of one department. Try to communicate first with neighboring departments, and if there you can't find a common language with colleagues, then move on to the next. If you smoke, then people from all over the company gather in smoking rooms, and at corporate dinners you can meet everyone. Plus, you can always wait, what if the next newbie is the one?

Other, equally effective tips for getting closer to colleagues

In addition to any psychological techniques, you can use more mundane ones, for example, bring your colleagues coffee, and as soon as they get used to it, hit them in the very heart with homemade baked goods or, if this is not very good, a purchased, but tasty, cake. The main thing is not to overdo it, otherwise you will begin to associate with a secretary or a waiter, and this will no longer be an act of goodwill, but a duty.

After you feed and give food to your colleagues, add them to messengers or social networks, you can slowly start throwing them funny pictures. It may not always be convenient to interrupt to talk, but there is always time to laugh.

Another not the worst way is to ask colleagues for advice. In terms of effectiveness, this approach is equated to compliments. And at work, the former works even better than the latter. First, you make it clear to your colleagues that their opinion is important to you, and second, they will consider you more competent.

Smile often when meeting your coworkers' eyes. A sincere smile is something that will allow you to gain trust without additional effort on your part.

So why is it important to communicate with colleagues

First, it’s just psychologically comfortable to be 40 hours a week with friends, and not with strangers. Secondly, modern life is like this, and for some people work is the only opportunity to communicate with someone other than family.

And, of course, if you communicate well with colleagues, then every morning you will happily go to work, and not think about how to spend another 9 hours in this serpentarium.

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